Spanish Meatballs

“What is your fondest memory of Spanish Meatballs?”

Written by Captain G

A guy was sitting behind me on a bus to Lisbon, Portugal, and this pickup line was his final attempt to pick up a girl across the aisle. 

But this isn’t where the story begins. Let us go back five weeks and 3600 nautical miles to Jacksonville, Florida, USA. The crew loaded stores onto a private yacht that would soon make its way across the Atlantic Ocean. The owner had asked a friend, who in return asked me to join the trans-Atlantic crossing. Four of us would be on the 47-foot sailboat during the voyage.

Every journey has its pulse. I have commented before that long-distance sailing is 90% boredom and 10% panic, but this trip was of note to be different.

The First Leg

Bermuda, Isle of Devils

After finally leaving the mainland and out of the sight of land, we had the perfect sail to Bermuda. Along the way, dolphins rode our bow waves, Gin and Tonics let us know before dinner would soon be ready each evening, and the stars, the night sky while at sea, always impresses.

The first leg took five days. We planned to stop long enough to replenish the fresh galley necessities. However, the weather had us cautious due to a hurricane possibly crossing our path.

The storm came and went while we made friends at places like the Swizzle Inn, listening to Bil Krauss’s talents and enjoying Dark and Stormy’s at The White Horse. This was the last time we would see land for the next thirteen and a half days. Next stop, Azore Islands.

Horta

Cold drinks, Whalebones, and more Friends

Horta, Faial, is a port city on the western part of the Archipelago of the Azores and a rite of passage for sailors making a west-to-east trans-Atlantic crossing. The first mission was to find a historic pub named Peter’s. The pub was serendipitous, with burgees lining the walls and ceiling, live music wafting out the front door, and beer flowing to yachtmen from around the world. We smiled, laughed, made more friends, and took turns buying drinks, but most importantly, we knew the accomplishment we achieved. 

Sadly, it was time for a crew change with my close friend Dave flying back to the States for business. Dave is a sailor’s sailor; he is a racer. One who is always watching the wind and tweaking the sails to squeak out another fraction of a kt. I learn from Dave every time I sail with him.

“Uncle” Rick, Owner Tony, and I welcomed the new Brit on board for the final reach to Lagos, Portugal.

Land Ho!

Mainland Europe, Dryland

We arrived in Lagos during daylight hours and tied to a dock at a downtown marina. That night, Portugal won the World Cup. Horns blasted through the city after the win. I joined the festivities and helped the locals celebrate in a proper sailor manner. The following day, with a sizable hangover, I said my goodbyes to the crew and boarded a passenger bus heading to Lisbon. Sitting around me were travelers from different points of the compass. During the two-hour trip, I listened to a guy behind me try repeatedly to start a flirty conversation with a girl across the aisle. During the last fifteen minutes, he asked her the question that still makes me smile, “What is your fondest memory of Spanish meatballs?’

Smugglers Blues

Written by Captain G

On some accounts, in certain circles, a few folks may say I come from a long line of runners. Moonshine, cars, weed, guns, tobacco, I may have heard a story of fine cutlery swapping hands without paying taxes. It’s a culture that crosses borders, not just lines on a map, but also civil status. Rich and needy people worldwide make money by moving goods from one place to another.

The names and locations in this story are changed to protect the guilty.
It was spring, and I was about to sail through the Caribbean. The boat was waiting for me in Miami. All I needed was for my work contract in the Carolinas to finish. A few friends were keen to discover what this sailing lifestyle was all about. One had just escaped his 3rd or 5th marriage engagement. The other was happy in a long-term relationship.
I didn’t think I needed the help, but I thought the company on the trip would be nice. The invitation to go sailing for a few weeks was given to both of them. Cassanova immediately said yes. The other friend, well, he needed to convince his girlfriend.
During the next few days, we jumped into the planning stage. Options were thrown around to find the most logical way for the guys to get to Miami and meet me at the boat. A friend who dabbles in high-end golf resorts overheard us. “Hey, you know that beer is $50 per case in the Bahamas, right?” “If I brought a few cases to your boat, would you drop them off as you pass by Nassau?” My idea of a few cases is around three boxes. I thought about it and said yes.


Back in Miami, the beer delivery guys arrived at the sloop with sixteen cases of various Cerveza. I was immediately thinking of how we were going to accommodate the volume. The best option was to turn the boxes on their sides and walk across them inside the boat. Problem solved!

We consumed the next few days preparing the boat for the trip, food, water, fuel, and fishing gear. Yacht and crew ready, we dropped the mooring ball and made our heading for Bimini in the Bahamas. It was a quick overnight sail where we found ourselves tied up to a dock by late morning. With little sleep, we still made it a point to explore what Bimini had to offer. Starting at our marina bar, then to the marina bar next door, followed by the Big Game Club, most notable for where Hemmingway made memorable moments. We soon found out why our friend wanted us to bring cheap beer. Everywhere we went, the beer was going for 7 USD per bottle. OUCH! At some point during the night’s festivities, we noticed one of the cases of beer on the boat had popped open. Being a pro safety Captain, I ruled that the safest option would be for us to stop buying beer and start drinking the loose cans rolling around on the floor. You see where this is leading, right?

After three more weeks of floating around the Bahamas, goofing off, and exploring, we went to the Atlantis Resort in Nassau. Our friend arrived with his band of merry men to help carry the 16… 15… I mean, 4 cases of beer left unopened. The only reason four cases were still on the boat was that those four were “gut rot” Budweiser. I mean, we do have standards on how low we would go, even with free beer!

To this day, I remember him saying, “You are the worst smuggler ever!” He was right, and I never pulled a stunt like that again. I guess this is one time that the acorn did fall far from the tree.