Written by Captain G
On some accounts, in certain circles, a few folks may say I come from a long line of runners. Moonshine, cars, weed, guns, tobacco, I may have heard a story of fine cutlery swapping hands without paying taxes. It’s a culture that crosses borders, not just lines on a map, but also civil status. Rich and needy people worldwide make money by moving goods from one place to another.
The names and locations in this story are changed to protect the guilty.
It was spring, and I was about to sail through the Caribbean. The boat was waiting for me in Miami. All I needed was for my work contract in the Carolinas to finish. A few friends were keen to discover what this sailing lifestyle was all about. One had just escaped his 3rd or 5th marriage engagement. The other was happy in a long-term relationship.
I didn’t think I needed the help, but I thought the company on the trip would be nice. The invitation to go sailing for a few weeks was given to both of them. Cassanova immediately said yes. The other friend, well, he needed to convince his girlfriend.
During the next few days, we jumped into the planning stage. Options were thrown around to find the most logical way for the guys to get to Miami and meet me at the boat. A friend who dabbles in high-end golf resorts overheard us. “Hey, you know that beer is $50 per case in the Bahamas, right?” “If I brought a few cases to your boat, would you drop them off as you pass by Nassau?” My idea of a few cases is around three boxes. I thought about it and said yes.
Back in Miami, the beer delivery guys arrived at the sloop with sixteen cases of various Cerveza. I was immediately thinking of how we were going to accommodate the volume. The best option was to turn the boxes on their sides and walk across them inside the boat. Problem solved!
We consumed the next few days preparing the boat for the trip, food, water, fuel, and fishing gear. Yacht and crew ready, we dropped the mooring ball and made our heading for Bimini in the Bahamas. It was a quick overnight sail where we found ourselves tied up to a dock by late morning. With little sleep, we still made it a point to explore what Bimini had to offer. Starting at our marina bar, then to the marina bar next door, followed by the Big Game Club, most notable for where Hemmingway made memorable moments. We soon found out why our friend wanted us to bring cheap beer. Everywhere we went, the beer was going for 7 USD per bottle. OUCH! At some point during the night’s festivities, we noticed one of the cases of beer on the boat had popped open. Being a pro safety Captain, I ruled that the safest option would be for us to stop buying beer and start drinking the loose cans rolling around on the floor. You see where this is leading, right?
After three more weeks of floating around the Bahamas, goofing off, and exploring, we went to the Atlantis Resort in Nassau. Our friend arrived with his band of merry men to help carry the 16… 15… I mean, 4 cases of beer left unopened. The only reason four cases were still on the boat was that those four were “gut rot” Budweiser. I mean, we do have standards on how low we would go, even with free beer!
To this day, I remember him saying, “You are the worst smuggler ever!” He was right, and I never pulled a stunt like that again. I guess this is one time that the acorn did fall far from the tree.
Aquatramp 